It's difficult to not draw immediate parallels between PleazeMe, a new social media site the encourages and supports safe-space erotic discussion, and Facebook, a spinning vortex of creepiness and social media hell that is furthering the end of rational thought and possibly humanity along with it.
There are layout and structural similarities between PleazeMe and Facebook, but in all rational reality, that's where any comparisons end. PleazeMe, while intended for anonymous, erotic conversation, already seems like a lighter, more positive destination for our online brains.
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Apparently Americans are currently caught in a sexual drought, being caught up in their devices. While that might hold some truth, they could just be finding intimacy and discussion online (though not on Tumblr anymore) rather than with their partner. Since this isn't a therapy session, let's just say that PleazeMe offers the latter through a colorful and structured environment.
When you sign up for Pleazeme (currently in beta) you are presented with a short quiz on your sexual proclivities in order to properly categorize you into one of seven different erotic "worlds". There is no shame here, no pressure to choose a "correct" answer. You do you. For example, my landing place was Avior, the home for sexual spirituality. This is more about the connection and spiritual side of sexual connections, rather than say Janus, which is the world where the cast of 50 Shades probably hangs out.
From there you can build your profile and check out the world feed from your world or others. You'll note a few things right away. You have a pre-loaded selection of avatars and headers to choose from, which keeps the blanket of anonymity pulled tight over your head. PleazeMe offers much of the same type of interactions you'd find on any other budding social network: user feed posting, video link sharing, commenting and ‘Heart’ button functionality, friend suggestions, private messaging, user followers and name linking.
Photo sharing is limited to holding a private photo vault that users can share with approved members, because indiscriminate photo sharing is something that can immediately ruin the experience on any social network. The focus of the network is to encourage and promote open discussion about sex and sexuality without any type of censorship or fear of the ban hammer due to certain keywords.
PleazeMe wants to build a place where not only is this open and free discussion paramount to improving our views toward sex and sexuality, but provide content to highlight travel destinations, events and give us a safe place to have the conversations about ourselves we might be hesitant to elsewhere. PleazMe, as it should be, is accepting and inclusive of all variations of gender and/or sexuality.
“Healthy relationships with ourselves, with others and with sexuality increases our quality of life," said Founder/CEO Heather C. Montgomery who created PleazeMe to challenge the status quo as it relates to the way people treat sex in life and as well as society, especially for women. "I think many people are ready and looking for greater quality in their lives."
So naturally, because many men are basically trash online (a phrase that can get one banned from Facebook), my immediate thoughts when entering the world of PleazeMe would be how it would handle the inevitable harassment that would come from an anonymous user base. With PleazeMe having a female founder, I would think that Montgomery would take content moderation very seriously in helping to keep the platform enjoyable and not a den of hell like all other social media. And she does. I got a very serious response.
"Yes, we talk and think about this a great deal. We have a community guidelines as part of our Terms of Use. You can view this in it's entirety when you login to your account on PleazeMe," said Montgomery via email. "PleazeMe is dedicated to supporting the user experience and has built in tools to assist us in identifying a number of community and legal concerns."
She then identified a few features such as voyeur mode, that allows a user to simply float and view; friends, which means only friends can see your status updates; private messaging, that can only be engaged between friends; blocking and unfriending, available at any time; abuse reporting, also available at any time. Future features include allowing users to turn-off comments on their posts. She also attached an excerpt from the Terms of Use that highlights the laundry list of bad behavior that would get a user banned fairly quickly. The onus is: don't be a jackhole.
There is something already calming about PleazeMe. While I haven't engaged in too much discussion, there is a sense of freedom paired with relief when perusing statuses and engaging with users. Society likes to pretend that this world is somehow taboo or wrong, supported by stringent religious beliefs and lawmakers with their heads up their short ends. That will change and the sex industry and discussion surrounding it will be more accepted. It just takes time and acceptance. Exploring our own sexuality in a safe, like-minded environment is one massive step towards that acceptance.
Because it's our own hangups, our own deficiencies in understanding what makes us human that creates a divide between people who are open about sex and those that are closed minded about it. I'm not saying bring back the free-love mentality of the 70s, but let's open our minds a bit and understand there is much more to being human than just sh*tposting on Twitter all day. PleazeMe is a good place to start, a sexual social media utopia.
If you aren't ready to join PleazeMe but have a tinge of curiosity, you can check out the PleazeMe blog where you can find out more about the site and if you are so inclined, sign up, open up and discover something about yourself that might make your life just a bit more exciting and free.
