NEW YORK, NEW YORK - SEPTEMBER 11: Nikkie de Jager attends the Marc Jacobs Spring 2020 Runway Show ... [+]
The number one trending video on YouTube features a woman named by Forbes as one of the top ten beauty influencers of 2017: Nikkie de Jager. But the new, must-watch video by the woman best known as NikkieTutorials, with 12.6 million subscribers, is not about beauty tips; It’s her coming out video. In it, De Jager revealed she is transgender.
“I hope that me standing up and being free, it inspires you to do the same,” de Jager said in her video uploaded Monday. “To truly live your life like you want it and the way you deserve it.” In just six hours, her video had been viewed more than 8-million times.
Human Rights Campaign heralded her coming out in a tweet.
“NikkiTutorials” uploaded her first video in 2008. A decade later, Elle estimated her net worth to be $175K; now it said to be $6 million, all from YouTube advertisements. She’s shared her screen with celebrities including Kim Kardashian, Drew Barrymore and Lady Gaga as beauty video guest stars, and collaborated with major beauty brands including Too Faced, Maybelline and Ofra, including liquid lipsticks she designed and a highlighter palette.
And she maintains a very loyal following with more than 13 million followers on Instagram, more than 25 million across all social media.
It is that fame and fortune that apparently forced the hand of de Jager, 25, who revealed in the video that she had been targeted for extortion.
“I have been blackmailed by people who wanted to leak my story to the press,” she said, admitting she had always planned to come out, but at a time of her own choosing. “At first, it was frightening. It was frightening to know there are people out there that are so evil that they can’t respect someone’s true identity. It is vile and it is gross.”
De Jager addressed the alleged blackmailers directly: “I know you are watching this.”
“They said they wanted to leak it because I’m lying or that I don’t want to tell my truth or because I’m too scared for people to know who I truly am. So, to the people who tried to blackmail me and thought they could really mess up my life with that, this one’s for you. I hope you can sit nice on it.”
The Dutch-born beauty blogger and YouTube star spent most of Monday’s 17-minute video sharing her story, and gave a shout-out to her mother for always supporting her.
“Growing up, I think the number one thing I’m most thankful for is my mom,” de Jager said. “She has been there for me since day one. She has always supported me, always accepted me. And that is everything you need as a kid. A parent that understands and listens and respects.”
According to de Jager, her mother recalled being sure that she was carrying a daughter when she was pregnant, even though that’s not what everyone presumed when she was born. But because her mother recognized in de Jager the behavioral pattern now established in modern medicine as “consistent, insistent and persistent” gender expression, she said her transition began more than a decade ago, when she was still a child: “I have literally grown up and transformed into me in front of all of you.”
“Because I know people are going to ask: Yes, I got fully transitioned by the time I was 14. I got my hormones because I’m a tall bitch. And I kept on growing and they were like, ‘Let’s tone that down.’ I got growth stoppers because I was supposed to be a whole lot taller than I already am today. So, they stopped my growth. And they gave me hormones. And by the time I was 19, I fully transitioned. I transitioned while on YouTube.”
According to various internet posts, de Jager is 6’2” tall.
Also in the video, she talked about her love life. She is engaged to her boyfriend, Dylan, whom she called a “strong, inspiring human being and I am honored to be by his side.” They’ve been dating for more than a year, and de Jager said that until recently, he was not aware she is transgender. “He didn’t know and he knows now. But I wish I told him sooner.” Calling it a “private matter,” de Jager said she is “so proud” that they’re “able to deal with it.”
A false narrative is shared by opponents of transgender rights as well as suspects criminally accused in cases of violence committed against transgender women: that trans women hide their birth gender in order to trick straight cisgender (meaning non-transgender) people; among the preposterous motives is to force men into gay sex, or lesbians into heterosexual sex. This is called the “gay/trans panic defense,” and so far, eight state legislatures have banned it.
But for trans women, it is not deceit; in the case of de Jager and others like her who are attracted to men, it’s not even gay. It is a personal choice whether to disclose or not, albeit a potentially dangerous one, given the spate of transgender murders around the world. What de Jager did by coming out is to stand up for the authenticity and validity of trans women. She did not use makeup to hide who she really is; she used it to find the woman she knew she could be.
“At the end of the day, my story is beautiful,” de Jager told her viewers, choking back tears. “All I know is that I haven’t changed.”
You can watch the full video by NikkieTutorials here:
